I have been thinking!

I have been thinking all day what I should do. Till the evening 5pm I could figure out what should I do? I have many things to do but I am not getting any motivation to do. Motivation what is it? Is it any exterior force or compulsion on me? Else is it simply my dormant state passion. Yeah I am sure it is in dormant state coz it did exist that’s the simple reason for me to be what I am today. “Nothing” has become my favourite word that’s what a friend complains every day. But from where do I make up stories when I haven’t had a happening day. Everything seems very usual to me. Yes the yuckiest word for me at least “Usual”. I have hated the word from the very beginning. I don’t expect my life to happening and rocking everyday but something which I have feared the most is having a routine life.
I know I don’t hate it. But something is stopping me to love it. What is it? Is it just my frame of mind which is looking for something specific that’s not meant for me? Or I am just not prepared for it. Or is it that I don’t want it now but I am not sure of it?
Yes too many questions surround me today. But how do I find the answer? I left it on time. But that definitely didn’t satisfy me. Is it so I am getting impatient about nothing?
Or do the questions have some meaning to them...